William Smith has made a [post](https://web.archive.org/web/20000000000000*/https://www.egroups.com/group/tw2002/13951.html?) about how the human spirit survives where nothing else can. Ok, not really. Instead, he claims that Eleqtrizi'T has "slandered" his company. You know, the one nobody knows exists. I don't see how it's possible to slander a company nobody cares about anyway. If you were on egroups two months ago, you might remember that this is the same person who jumped in from out of nowhere and claimed he would save the Tradewars community from...something. He told us this through a Press Release that he got out of [a cerial box.](https://web.archive.org/web/20000000000000*/https://www.egroups.com/group/tw2002/13949.html?) It's these kind of people that make me want to [Kill myself](https://web.archive.org/web/20000000000000*/https://www.newgrounds.com/assassin/bear/). Oh, and if you want to sue me Mr. Smith, here's $5. That's my total wealth.

I recently recieved this response to my nominations concerning the [3rd tradewars awards.](https://web.archive.org/web/20000000000000*/https://home1.gte.net/jack8662/twawards.htm) rofl!!!! umm, have someone else do that, then it will be legal :) > I nominate myself for all the awards. > -MK What the Hell? Obviously this guy doesn't believe that I'm the [greatest](https://web.archive.org/web/20000000000000*/https://www.depletecoitus.com/twars.htm) in all the categories. Please, someone else nominate me for all the awards then. Being gifted isn't all fun and games. :(

You know, Simplicity is apparently a lost virtue. Just take a look at the [3rd annual TradeWars awards](https://web.archive.org/web/20000000000000*/https://home1.gte.net/jack8662/twawards.htm). Just some of the nominations include the best.... Red Player, Blue Player, CEO Player, Team Player, Backstabber, Most Lagged BBS, Most Dedicated, Most Improved, MVP, MBP (Most Banned Player), Hunter, Killer, Farmer, Sportsmanship, Teacher, Fed Comm, Most duped player, MBBS Site, TWGS Site, Game Op, TW Web Site, Best Helper, Hall Of Fame, Special. Ok, so I added a few others in there. By the time I actually figured out who is "The Best CEO" (Even though most of us have never played with 'famous' CEOs), I could have found out how to go back through time and more importantly, gotten a table at the Olive Garden. Fortunately, it looks like I actually DID figure out time travel as I got a warning about this from my future self. My solution? I chose myself as a nomination for every award.

Cruncher recently found another bug as [posted:](https://web.archive.org/web/20000000000000*/https://www.eisonline.com/TWForum/messages/3750.htm) **"Remember the puzzling bug that was reported a while back of a player having the ability to play while being invisible to everyone else? Thanks to Night Stalker and Timberwolf we have this bug on cap file! All cap files were sent to John P, and because of the sensive nature will not be released for public view."** Oh come on Cruncher! How am I suppossed to be the greatest player in the world if you won't let me get some r33t skillz?

**1st Place - Dominance Enterprises!** - CEO-EleqTrizi'T - Guardian - Peacemaker - Rawhead Rex - Ripclaw - Retaliator **2nd Place - Boo, Inc.** - CEO- Space Ghost - Nazwes Chaiwind - Soylent Green - Kavanagh - Adomma - Dark_Knight **3rd Place - The Mystery Men** - CEO- Timberwolf - Mirkath - Speedy - Gangus Green - MasterBart

[The TradeWars Convention Homepage](https://web.archive.org/web/20000000000000*/https://www.expage.com/page/twconvention) has lots of new information, including some preliminary prices on hotels. Also, make sure to bring lots and lots of money! So you can lose it all at the casino? No! I'll be making random muggings all throughout the convention and you could be a lucky contestant! Your friends will be green with envy when they find out you got "Megarobbed" by the one and only MK.

John P. Has released v1.0124 of the TWGS server. [Grab it](https://web.archive.org/web/20000000000000*/https://eisonline.classictw.com/). Here's what's new: > **"All past attempts at solving the extern scheduling problems have ended in failure because I have been focusing on the wrong problems. It seems that my code was fine, but the windows timer events were triggering when they weren't supposed to. This revision includes a replacement for windows timers, so extern SHOULD run as scheduled from now on. But I'm not making any promises ;)** > **Even though the extern problem was OS specific (it seemed to be happening on some Win95 systems), I would like all gameops to install this revision so we can get a thorough test of the new scheduling mechanism."** The Idea of Extern **Actually Working** is a concept foreign to most of you, but it looks like the legend during the times of yore when Extern actually ran on a consistant schedule may return.

If you've ever wanted to see an episode of Jerry Springer, you have to look no further than [Egroups](https://web.archive.org/web/20000000000000*/https://www.egroups.com/lists/tw2002/). Lucas Aparently did something, and then frogman did something. Then they threw chairs at each other after they revealed they were cheating on each other with Midgets that were leading their own KKK faction. (I'd normally post a link to the messages, but after doing a search for "Mon Feb 28, 2000" and getting dates for Febuary 13th, 15th, 19th, and 23rd, I've given up on Egroup's search engine.) **Now for the Springer Final thought:** "Can't we all just get along?"

I got a message from Hellcat saying how good he is. Surprise there. Let's have some fun shall we? Post that on your website if you'd like. That's not a bad idea..... Gypsy is probably the worst playing well known player I can think of. You know, you seem a bit sexually frustrated. Since I feel sorry, I've decided to make a quick, "Trader's guide to dating" just for you! First off, here's Shell to demonstrate what a Woman looks like: Notice the differences in the area under the shirt you may not have seen before. Now that you know what these elusive creatures look like, where do they hide you ask? The answer is, as they call it, "Rave." The portals to this exotic isle are called bars, and appear randomly accross the US. (Unless you live in Wisconsin, they're on every street corner there) Grab your scoped rifle and head out to connect to your closest bar! (Note: Make sure to have the highest ping possible when connecting or else your excevation might end a little....prematurely. Being a stud from Cisco, that shouldn't be too much of a problem for you) If you feel a warm tingly feeling when you look at one of them, your halfway there! Now walk up to her and wait for the slap. *WHAP* You Done CBYed boy! Try again tomorrow in a new ship and get another slap. *Some other Rants about how good I, HELLCAT, [Master of the Universe](https://web.archive.org/web/20000000000000*/https://www.worldofcheese.org/cheese/book1/index.html), am.* Don't worry Hellcat, when I take over the world, I'll be sure to give you a country your maturity level can handle....Canada. (Sorry Canadians. I guess you'll just have to take one for the team, eh?)

With the [Sheer](https://web.archive.org/web/20000000000000*/https://www.egroups.com/group/tw2002/12384.html?) [Amount](https://web.archive.org/web/20000000000000*/https://www.egroups.com/group/tw2002/12179.html?) of [Bitching](https://web.archive.org/web/20000000000000*/https://www.egroups.com/group/tw2002/12134.html?) going on in the egroups forum concerning the USO, you'd think my Ex-girlfriend is the one who organized it. Hopefully, I **WON'T** have to speak my mind. If seems that the majority of lag was not actually caused by Frogland and MPB's systems, but was actually caused by have a large amount of people pressing CLV (Display Players) instead. Also, The Bug where you can be attacked while still docked at StarDock has also been found, and tonight Cruncher and Friends found yet another bug where Data Corruption can happen. John is already working on these and should have an update out soon. And Lastly, per his request, [Timberwolf got Deleted](https://web.archive.org/web/20000000000000*/https://www.egroups.com/group/tw2002/12143.html?).... Booya!